adjusting to a new college after transferring -- Virtually Advising Q+A

The Q: I just transferred from a 2 year junior college to a 4 year university, however the adjustment hasn't been easy for me. I am having trouble concentrating in class and studying at home. I feel like I can't sit still for more than 5 minutes at a time. My note taking abilities have never been so bad. I can never keep with with my profs and finally I just give up and sit through the rest of class feeling as if I'm going to burst into tears. My living arrangements are less than desirable. I got put into an on-campus apartment with 3 girls who all lived together before and don't seem like they want to take the time to get to know me. I'm worried about my grades and my mental health and I almost feel like I just want to give up and go home. Is there any advice you could give me?

The A: From your e-mail, it sounds as though you feel overwhelmed, discouraged and anxious. These feelings are completely understandable, considering that you're undergoing a major adjustment to a new campus, a new level of difficulty in your course material, and a new living environment, not to mention the milestone of entering a four-year university. Allow me to first congratulate you on your impressive achievement and to acknowledge that you are struggling with this hefty adjustment.

It sounds as though being overwhelmed with the difficulty of your course material makes you feel anxious, both emotionally (being tearful and sad, or like you want to give up) and physically (not being able to concentrate or sit still). This is not an unusual reaction to stress, and I'm glad to hear that you're open to seeking out help in this matter, as your stress can be addressed and remedied through counseling. Also, adjusting to living in a new place with new roommates is tough as it is; it's even tougher when your roommates already have an established relationship. It would be great if you could address this situation in counseling as well, as a counselor could give you some ideas about how to connect to your roommates (or how you can best seek connections elsewhere on your campus).

Therefore, let me recommend that you seek out counseling on your college campus. It's a challenge to navigate a transition of this caliber by yourself, and it seems as though some guidance and support from a trained professional could go a long way in helping you overcome the stress of your adjustment. Together with your counselor, you would be able to work on ways to reduce your anxiety, address your study needs, brainstorm possible ideas for befriending your roommates and explore opportunities for other social interactions. Most campuses have excellent counseling centers staffed with qualified professionals that provide their services for free or on a sliding pay scale. Moreover, these services are confidential, so if there's a part of you that feels embarrassed about going to therapy, nobody has to know about it.

In the meanwhile (as you begin to seek out help), here are a few hands-on suggestions for dealing with your current situation:

1) Visit your professors during their office hours and speak with them about your struggles in their particular courses. Most faculty are sympathetic to their students' needs; they might be able to give you ideas on how to best tackle their particular course material.

2) Sign up for free tutoring, if it's available; there's generally a bevy of supplemental instruction available on most campuses. And don't be afraid to approach your TA (if your course has one) for information on where to get the best tutoring, as well as for some personalized help and individual attention with your studies.

3) Meet with your major adviser to address your course difficulties as well. He or she might have some input on valuable strategies or tutoring resources for people in your field of study that others may not be aware of.

4) Consider speaking to your resident assistant, or another mentor-type figure in your dorm, if there is one. An upperclassman might have some input on how best to study for difficult courses.

5) Look at campus flyers and information boards, surf your college's Web site and ask around in your classes to find out what social activities are available on campus. By joining a club, for instance, you'd be able to meet lots of new and interesting people who share your interests, and therefore won't necessarily be restricted to mingling with your roommates. Also, though it sounds a little bit hokey, consider making it a point to meet a new person every week, either by going to a club meeting or by approaching or sitting next to a friendly looking person in your classes.

6) Finally, maintain contact with your friends from high school and junior college, as well as your family, provided those connections rejuvenate, strengthen and inspire you. Your old friends and family members could be a great source of support as you transition into the life of a four-year college student.

Again, I recommend that you seek out counseling at your college's mental health and wellness center. While what you're going through is challenging and overwhelming, you don't have to go through this process alone. Best of luck to you, and please let me know if there is anything else I can do.

—Dina Goldstein, General Advisor