what do I do if my parents and I disagree on my major? -- Virtually Advising Q+A

The Q: My dad has pushed me to become a scientist all my life. I am really good at biology and have taken many courses. However, I feel trapped in this major. I like biology but I am not in love with it. What I really like is creative writing and art. Is it even plausible to switch? Both majors are on the opposite sides of the totem. I am afraid that since all my life I have been "trained" to become a scientist I couldn't make it as a writer. All my dad sees are $$$s. I don't like living as half of myself. Is there any way to do both things and still graduate relatively on time? Or is there a way to convince my dad writing isn't a waste of time?

The A: For better or for worse, your situation is quite common for many college students. Parents often feel that a certain type of job would be best for their child, perhaps because they feel it would provide financial security, cultural prestige or any number of other benefits. However, at the same time, your parents want what is best for you; ultimately, they want you to feel fulfilled with what you are going to be doing in life.

That said, you have quite a bit of legwork to do before switching majors. You stated that you have taken your fair share of biology courses, but what about courses in creative writing or art? Perhaps, if you can take a few of those courses as electives over the next semester, you would be able to get a good taste of what those majors might be like and how engaging in those activities makes you feel. Further, your campus career center might be able to arrange a part-time internship position for you at a graphic design firm, an art gallery or a publishing company, or it could secure a spot for you at a creative writing workshop and put you in touch with publishers in your area. By actually working in the art world, you would be able to not only discern for yourself if that is how you want to spend the rest of your life (or the next few years of it, anyway), but also send a message to your dad that you are serious about your artistic pursuits. Finally, joining a campus newspaper or art club would put you in touch with other like-minded individuals, which could lead not only to fulfilling friendships, but also to connections in the creative world and potential job opportunities.

At the same time, if you are not entirely averse to science, you might consider combining your writing talent and your biology background. Technical writing, for instance, is an area where both of those aptitudes might merge, as is science reporting. Your local career development center would be able to help you brainstorm possible career fields, as well as provide you with vocational testing that would help in determining where your natural aptitudes and abilities lie. Finally, career assessment could lead you to consider a whole spectrum of career opportunities that you never knew existed.

Most importantly, I recommend that you have an honest, heart-to-heart conversation with your dad about your interests, likes and dislikes. Although initially it might be hard for him to hear you, he might be more open to the idea of you switching majors or pursuing different job options if you provide him with evidence -- ideally evidence that you've gathered thorough hands-on experience and research into potential jobs, the schooling required to achieve them and the salaries in those fields.

Once you've done this, sit down with your dad in a quiet place, and be open and honest with him about how you feel and what you want. Tell him that you appreciate his enthusiasm for your future career, and remind him how important his support is to you in all of your endeavors. Finally, if you have career assessment results on hand, you could share them with your dad and brainstorm -with- him about possible careers in creative writing or art. If you include him in the soul searching you're now experiencing, he is much likelier to be receptive to your ideas, as he would feel like a part of your decision-making process. Also, you might be able to provide him with fresh, accurate information about a certain career field that he may not have been aware of, and that could change his mind about your alternate career aspirations.

Good luck in your future endeavors,

—Dina Goldstein, Psych Advisor

Response written Nov. 13, 2005.