Please
select from the following short essay sets:
Note:
The below essays were not edited by EssayEdge Editors. They
appear as they were initially reviewed by admissions officers.
SAMPLE
SHORT ESSAY SET 1:
Georgetown, Saudi
International Relations
For many years,
I have been interested in studying international relations.
My interest in pursuing this field stems from several factors
which have affected me. First, I have been exposed to international
affairs throughout my life. With my father and two of my brothers
in the Saudi Foreign Service, I have grown up under the shadow
of inter-national affairs. Second, I am fascinated by history,
economics, and diplomacy. I believe, through the study of
international relations, I can effectively satisfy my curiosity
in these fields. A third factor which has affected my interest
in international relations is patriotism. Through the Foreign
Service, I would not only have the opportunity to serve my
country, but also have the chance to help bridge gaps between
my country and others. Finally, as a Saudi living abroad,
I have been bridging cultures throughout my life. This experience
has taught me to look for differences to compromise and similarities
to synthesize in order to balance different cultures. In short,
I believe that my experiences in life, combined with a rigorous
academic education, will enable me to pursue a successful
career in the Saudi Foreign Service.
Georgetown, Favorite
Class
At St. Albans,
especially in our later years, we are given the freedom to
choose from a vast array of classes. Using this freedom, I
have selected classes which have personal significance to
me, regardless of difficulty or appearance on my transcript.
However, from these classes, one holds an extraordinary amount
of value to me. This course is A.P. Omnibus History, a combination
of American and European history. There are several reasons
for my great interest in this class. First, I am fascinated
by the cyclical nature of the past. I see these recurring
political, economic, and social trends as a means of looking
forward into the future, while allowing us to avoid the mistakes
of the past. Second, history teaches many lessons about the
nature of human behavior, both past and present, providing
insight into the actions, desires, and aspirations of those
around me. Finally, it lays a solid foundation for several
disciplines, including political science, economics, and international
relations, three fields of great interest to me.
Georgetown, Visual
Arts
Another major interest
of mine, which I have not had the opportunity to express elsewhere
on my application, is the visual arts. Throughout high school,
I have used a variety of media to express myself. I began
with black and white photography, focusing on the presence
of lines and balance in nature. For my work in this medium,
I received an award at the St. Albans School Art Show. From
photography, I moved on to glass etching. Using a sandblaster
to etch the glass, I again concentrated on lines and balance
in my works. Moreover, by arranging several glass panes into
a sculpture, I moved my study into three dimensions, winning
another Art Show award. Currently, I am working on canvas,
using oil and acrylic in a Mondrian style, which is based
on lines and balance. Eventually, I hope to explore the effects
of combining these and other media, creating my own style
of artistic expression.
Georgetown, Wrestling
In the past four
years of my life, no activity has affected me more than wrestling.
Four years of varsity wrestling and the honor of being a team
captain has instilled many qualities in me. First, through
years of hard work and continuous dieting, wrestling has given
me discipline. This discipline has spread to other parts of
my personality, including my moral character, work ethic,
and perserverence. Another quality wrestling has given me
is leadership. As a team captain, I have learned to lead by
example, both on and off the mat. Above all, though, wrestling
has given me a love of life. Through this sport, I have experienced
pain, sacrifice, adversity, and success. Exposure to these
feelings-which are, in my opinion, the essence of being-has
allowed me to truly appreciate life. I hope to continue wrestling
at Georgetown.
COMMENTS:
What immediately
strikes the reader about this set-before even reading it-is
the balance between the essays. Each answer contains only
one paragraph, each of approximately equal length. The solid
structure of each essay and the focus of each reflects this
outward balance. Each one focuses on a completely different
area of its writer's life, another striking detail. The first
focuses on his career goals, the second on his interest in
history, the third on his interest in the visual arts, and
the fourth on wrestling. This is a perfect example of the
jigsaw puzzle approach. When put together, you have a well-rounded
individual with passion, depth, and involvement in many different
areas.
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SAMPLE
SHORT ESSAY SET 2:
Duke, Sports/Debate
Throughout my life,
I have tried to be a well-balanced person. Growing up in the
South, I had a hard time fighting the stereotypical image
of a Chinese person. I was expected to be a math and science
genius and nothing more. As it turned out, I defied my detractors
by excelling in English and history along with math and science.
And over the years, I have continued to maintain my academic
standards.
Nevertheless, I
have also made sure that I am more than an academic person.
I am an active one as well. In middle school, the most popular
game during lunch was a basketball game called Salt and Pepper
(white vs. black). The first day of school, I stepped onto
the basketball courts and was greeted by cries of consternation,
"Who is he? Is he salt or pepper?" But after the game, I had
made a name for myself. From then onward, I would be known
as Spice, and the game we played became Salt, Pepper, and
Spice.
When I moved to
California, things were no different. I continued to play
an active part both academically and socially. My involvement
with Cross-country, Speech and Debate, Ultimate Frisbee and
numerous clubs guaranteed that I would not be only known as
an Honors student.
Like myself, Duke
is much more than an academic institution; it is a living
institution. I feel that I will be given the opportunity to
excel both academically and socially. Duke is a university
known for its rich history and strong academic program. And,
at the same time, it is also known for its innovation and
progressiveness. These are qualities which draw me to the
college.
In addition, Duke
and I have a lot in common. The two most important extracurricular
activities I have are a major part of Duke University. Duke's
Speech team is known for its strong Extemp squad. I remember
the time when my speech coach asked me what schools I was
applying to. When I had listed my top five choices, he frowned
at me and said, "Out of all those schools, I will only respect
you if you either join us at Berkeley or go to Duke and extemp."
I hope I will be given the opportunity to contribute my part
in the Duke Speech team.
Equally important,
the Duke University has a well-known Ultimate Frisbee team.
I look forward expectantly to becoming a part of the team.
Strange as it seems, Ultimate Frisbee is one of my top criteria
for choosing my future college. It delights me that Duke places
such great emphasis on the two extracurricular activities
that mean most to me.
My first year at
Duke should be a great one. Majoring in economics at Duke
should allow me to both pursue my major studies and allow
me time for personal interests in Chinese and the Humanities.
Moreover, in my spare time, I plan to join the Speech team
and the Ultimate Frisbee team. Hopefully, with my previous
experience, I will have an early start in both Speech and
Ultimate. Yet, I will never forget why I'm in college in the
first place. As long as I give organic chemistry a wide berth,
I should be able to continue my level of academic excellence.
Overall, my first year at Duke promises to be exciting, if
a bit hectic.
Duke, Books
I find Hermann
Hesse's book, Narcissus and Goldmund, intellectually exciting.
After reading the book last year, I remember putting it down
and sighing contentedly. I had, after a sleepless night, finally
finished. What I reveled in was not the fact that I could
sleep, but that I had come away with an inexplicable something.
It was not an understanding which could be pinpointed and
explained. Rather, it was a sense I felt in the depths of
my soul. And yet, what delighted me more was that I knew that
I had only begun to understand the book; that there remained
countless messages which I could only sense but not grasp.
Here, finally, I had a book which could be re-read. And every
time I finished, I would come away with a new understanding
of something I could not put into words.
Unlike the normal
academic, I do not want to find the final answer for everything.
Throughout my life, I have always felt a sense of loss after
succeeding in a long search. For me, it is not the ends I
seek, but the means themselves. I am perfectly content to
never find the final answer as long as I will always be able
to find a better one.
Duke, Chinese Culture/Economics
Born in Taiwan,
I came to the United States when I was five. Armed with only
two words ("hello" and "popcorn"), I braved the uncertainties
of a complex, new environment. Twelve years later, my vocabulary
is considerably larger and I have adapted well to my surroundings.
At the same time, I have neither forgotten my native culture
nor its language.
My ties with my
native Chinese culture remain as strong as ever. I visit my
relatives in Taiwan regularly almost every summer and have
traveled throughout China. And to everyone's continuing surprise,
I have yet to forget how to speak Mandarin. Nevertheless,
twelve years in America has made its impressions upon me as
well. I am as "American" as anyone my age. The songs I listen
to, the sports I play, and the way I speak are all a reflection
of that. In short, I am a combination of both East and West.
Nevertheless, I
sometimes wonder whether speaking Chinese at home and visits
in the summer are enough to maintain my ties with my native
culture. Often, when I see my parents reading old Chinese
literature or poetry, I feel that I am only in touch with
half of what I am. This sense of loss has led me to seek out
my old roots. I turn to the East to rediscover what I have
lost.
Yet, I cannot resign
myself to merely studying my own culture and language. I want
to be able to apply my knowledge as well. To me, pursuing
a career in business is a very pragmatic solution to my future
welfare. My father is a businessman in Taiwan and I have had
numerous opportunities to watch him work. Through him, I have
discovered my own interests in the business field. I find
the way business operates in the East to be very exciting.
At the same time, my father has soothed my sense of morality
by showing me that it is possible to be an honest businessman
in Asia.
Before I learned
about Duke, I had made up my mind to study economics and to
ultimately pursue a career in international business. I had
come to see this path as the best combination for fulfilling
both my aspirations towards knowledge and my pragmatic goals
of a future livelihood. China, my planned area of focus, is
an expanding market with a dearth of skilled business professionals.
But I had misgivings because I wanted a school with a strong
focus on the humanities as well.
Thus, I find Duke
University exciting and perfect for me. It gives me a strong
economics curriculum, but still allows me to pursue my interests
in the humanities. With economics at Duke University, I will
have access to a wide array of studies both within and beyond
my chosen major. I will have an edge in the business world
by virtue of Duke
After attending
Duke (if I am accepted, of course), I will have a clear path
before me. My studies at Duke should virtually guarantee me
for any graduate business school. And, after my graduate studies,
I will be able to realize my dreams. Perhaps, I will be able
to serve as a bridge between East and West.
COMMENTS:
These three well-written
essays create a strong set. The first and the last would have
been impressive on their own. Reading them all together magnifies
their impact considerably. This student does an especially
good job of targeting the school. This student focuses his
first essay on his extracurriculars and relates them to why
Duke would be perfect for him. He focuses the third on his
Chinese background and how it relates to his career goals
and academic interests. Then he also relates these interests
to why Duke matches him perfectly. His favorite book provided
the focus of the second essay. What makes this second essay
better than others like it is that the applicant manages to
put himself into the question. He does not just talk about
the book, he uses it to talk about himself and stress the
inquisitive nature of his personality-always a plus.
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SAMPLE
SHORT ESSAY SET 3:
Dartmouth, Debate
Participating in
my high school's debate program has been my most meaningful
activity these past four years. I have learned how to speak
in front of a crowd without becoming nervous, how to think
on my feet, and how to argue the merits of any side of an
issue. Being on the debate team also allows me to educate
myself on current topics of global importance such as the
homeless problem, health care, and pollution.
Throughout the
three years I have dedicated to the activity, (high school)
has always maintained a successful squad and I am quite proud
to know that I have earned many of the trophies and awards
that have helped make the program so successful and (high
school) well known on the debate circuit.
Because of the
activity, I have learned that from education to communication,
from argument to enlightenment, debate is necessary for two
or more humans to transcend mere exchange of thought and achieve
synergy instead. I now view success in debate as far more
than a trophy; I now see it as evidence that I can successfully
communicate my beliefs to others and have them logically accept
them as their own, thus priming me for any future challenges
involving human interaction.
Dartmouth, Honors
and Awards
My most important
honors since tenth grade have been winning the Brown University
Book Award for my skills in English, being named as a National
Merit Semifinalist (Finalist status pending), winning the
Journalism Education Association National Write-off Award
of Excellence in the Editorial division at a national conference,
being selected as a Semifinalist in the NCTE Writing Contest
for my work in prose, being named as an Illinois State Scholar
for my academic achievement in high school and my high A.C.T.
scores, being selected to the Spanish Honor Society for my
consistent success with the language in the classroom, being
selected as the Student of the Month in the Foreign Language/Social
Sciences division two years in a row for my success in those
classes, and in a culminating event, being featured in Who's
Who Among American High School Students for my overall scholastic
success.
Dartmouth, Summer
at Dartmouth
Most of my past
summer was spent away from home. In that brief month in which
I remained in (town name) I worked at (job) in order to earn
the money I was going to spend on my trips. My first excursion
was to the east coast where I visited several schools and
took in the atmosphere of an area to which my midwestern self
was somewhat unaccustomed. One school I was considering that
I did not visit was Dartmouth. After all, I spent a month
there later in the summer. As a participant of the Dartmouth
Debate Institute I spent a lot of time in Feldberg, Dana,
and Baker libraries; resided in the well-known Choates; attended
sessions in Silsby; and dined in the Full-Fare section of
Thayer. There was also time for recreational activities such
as rope swinging, volleyball, frisbee, sleep (every little
bit was cherished), and beautiful hikes up to Dana. I did
manage to sit down and work in such a clean, open environment,
however. The instructors made sure of that. The four-week
institute honed my skills in speaking, researching, structuring
arguments, and thinking. As a result, my partner and I were
able to break into the elimination rounds at the institute-ending
tournament which included the top debaters in the nation.
Aside from the debate skills I learned, I found the institute
very favorable because of the exchange of ideas taking place
between the students and staff. What I learned from those
exchanges enlightened me not only as a debater but also as
a person.
Although I enjoy
all of my subjects, I regard classes I have taken in the social
sciences to be the most meaningful. Whereas some classes use
formulas to describe natural occurrences, the social sciences
show that not everything is explicable in such a clear-cut
manner. The social sciences describe people; they describe
the people who make up the formulas and how and why that was
done. The social sciences also explain the past so as a society,
people can avoid past catastrophes and build upon past successes.
Not only do they describe how we act as we do, but why we
act as we do.
I am not a student
who always likes to follow someone else's rules. While most
subjects allow for free thought, the social sciences encourage
innovative thinking. Those classes expect students to explain
why something happened based on certain conditions. I didn't
learn that the Iron Curtain was an economic measure in any
math class.
As a student my
ultimate goal is to understand things. I feel the best way
to understand is not by reciting another's thought, but by
formulating my own and debating it with people who disagree
with me. I believe that exchange of thought is vital in every
curriculum, but the social sciences do the most to promote
that exchange. I highly doubt that anyone will be debating
Einstein's ideas in the near future-and be right.
COMMENTS:
This essayist dedicates
the first essay to his involvement in debating. He manages
to communicate quite a lot in a short amount of space (what
he has learned, what he has achieved, and what debating means
to him) without ever losing his focus. The second essay is
an example of an answer to a list question ("List your honors
and awards"). The third gets more personal by describing the
summer he spent at Dartmouth. The strength of this essay is
that he sells himself on his knowledge and familiarity of
the school. The weakness of this essay is that he tries to
do too much and loses his focus after the second paragraph.
The conclusion does not seem to fit with the points he has
made in the essay-the last line particularly seems to come
from nowhere.
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SAMPLE
SHORT ESSAY SET 4:
Harvard, Favorite
Books
The novel Black
Like Me was the most stimulating book I have recently read.
I was taken aback by the cruelty the narrator experienced
when he was black compared to the hospitality he found as
a white man. Possessing the same occupation, clothing, wealth,
speech, and identity did not matter when his skin was another
color. Given that this was a non-fictional piece, my reaction
was even stronger. The book made me favor equality of opportunity
for all in every endeavor so others' opinions of them are
based on performance, not preconceptions.
Harvard, Favorite
Teacher
I selected Mr.
(name) because he taught me more than U.S. History; he taught
me how to think independently. This wasn't done only to prepare
me for the free-response section of the A.P. test, either.
I know he did it to make his students responsible citizens
and responsible adults. From the outset, he wanted to make
sure that we knew how we stood in our political philosophy:
strict constructionists or loose constructionists. He wanted
to make sure that we didn't gravitate towards empty categories
like liberal or conservative, but rather focused on issues
separately whenever we needed to take a stand on them. Imagine
my surprise when I, the son of two very conservative parents
who constantly bombarded me with their rhetoric, discovered
that I had strong liberal tendencies on some issues. Aside
from political affiliations, Mr. (name) taught us how to make
sense out of history by trying to understand the personal
motives that went in to any chain of historical occurrences.
In his class, I came to the realization that history isn't
only a series of names and dates printed in a textbook, but
a more complex subject that requires deep thought and analysis
for full comprehension. Because of Mr. (name), history is
now my favorite subject. He has also been a motivating force
outside of the classroom. He always had faith in my ability
and constantly encouraged me to do my best. I believe he respected
my abilities and wanted to see them developed further. In
fact, had it not been for his faith in me, I would have never
applied to Harvard, the school I plan to attend in the fall.
Harvard, Unnoticed
Accomplishment
It's not that I'm
a weak guy, just that I had been somewhat self-conscious about
my strength early on in my high school career. My gym class
didn't help too much, either. Thanks to a demeaning test of
strength appropriately dubbed the "Grip Test," once each quarter
I was provided the opportunity to squeeze a gadget, get a
score, and have my teacher announce it out loud, no matter
how high or (as in my case) how low it was. No matter how
hard I tried, the cruel and callous scale never registered
above 40. Almost every other male in the class could boast
of a high-40's or mid-50's score. I hated that test with a
passion. Until recently. When this semester rolled around
and I had the gripper placed in my palm, I was prepared for
the same old same old. I had been improving slightly from
quarter to quarter, but nothing impressive ever happened.
I drew in a deep breath, squeezed, looked at the scale, and
almost fainted. Sixty-six! In a way only a teenager can appreciate,
for an accomplishment only a teenager would find meaningful,
I thought I was in heaven. My success was even sweeter as
I watched jocks pale in comparison when they took the test.
Sure, to some people my academic accomplishments seem fairly
impressive, and I would agree. Yet the grip test situation
was much more personal and represented success in an area
I normally don't pay attention to. Plus I learned two things.
One: I can pride myself on the smallest triviality. Two: I'm
glad we don't measure strength in our gym classes with the
bench press.
Harvard, Leadership
through Dedication
To me, leadership
does not necessarily mean accumulating as many titles as possible
in school activities; I feel one leads through his dedication,
actions, and contributions. I have always tried to lead in
almost everything I set out to do. I feel I have been successful
at that. Superficially, I have earned such titles as president
of the National Honor Society chapter at my school, Editor-in-Chief,
columnist, Investigative Editor, and Editorial Editor of the
school newspaper, senior varsity leader in debate, and a Class
Representative for Student Council. However, those titles
don't begin to tell the story of my abilities as a leader.
They don't reveal how I volunteered to help out at a handicapped
lock-in at an unfamiliar youth center when no one else wanted
to, they don't reveal how I always sought to be on time for
work and to avoid boondoggling, they don't reveal how I aided
younger debaters with their argumentation so they can have
the same success I was lucky enough to enjoy, they don't reveal
how I became a role model for the JETS squad by studying my
material often, eventually becoming the most medaled member
on the team, and they don't reveal all the effort I put into
learning my lines and acquiring a good stage presence for
Images, my first stage production ever, so I wouldn't single-handedly
jeopardize the whole show with my lack of experience. All
those actions stress the quality I feel is most important
in a leader, dedication. With dedication comes hard work and
the ability to seek out solutions when problems get in the
way, whether they are with a news page layout or in a student's
diction. Because of this dedication, taking charge is second
nature for me. People are always willing to follow one with
a clear sense of direction.
Harvard, Close-knit
family
I don't view my
important characteristics as different from those my family
has imparted on me throughout the years. The pride, care,
dedication, effort, and hard-working attitude that I view
as critical to any success I may achieve have all descended
upon me courtesy of my close-knit, Italian family.
Born the child
of two immigrants who came here with nothing, only one possessing
a college degree, the importance of a good work ethic was
stressed by my parents from day one. Through their actions
in their jobs and through the verbal lessons on life I began
to get from the moment I could communicate, they set an example
for me to follow, one of being proud of what I do, no matter
what it was, and above all, to care about everything I do
as if everything had a big impact. This meant that everything
had to be done right and be done well. Undoubtedly, following
their own advice carried my parents from their status as blue-collar
immigrants who labored as a factory workers to white-collar
citizens, one of whom owns his own business while the other
works as a bank officer. Those ascensions from nothing only
served as other examples for me to follow, examples that delineated
the ability for a person to improve through effort.
Another quotation
from my father propelled me from the time I started school
to today: "No matter what you do, you have to be the best."
This set up the inner drive that motivates all my actions.
It was what forced me to try hard in school although I didn't
know English well enough to always understand the teacher.
It's the reason why I have developed my skills. It accounts
for my dedication to all activities, and to the hard work
I put into all of them as I strive to lead both in class and
out. Essentially, my parentage was the first quality that
distinguished me as a leader.
Despite all the
talk of being a leader, I have never lost sight of the importance
of my family. I know I owe my family everything, and as a
result, I'll always be close with it.
Harvard, Fun
I pursue a variety
of activities for fun and relaxation. I enjoy reading books
and magazines (my tastes range from Time to Gentlemen's Quarterly)
on a regular basis, imitating Beavis and Butt-head, and most
of all, spending time with my friends. Although I am fan of
playing pick-up games of basketball, football, and roller
hockey, the phrase "doing nothing with my time" doesn't bother
me since I can have a good time just hanging around. I think
people, not places, make for a good time.
Harvard, Social
Concerns
My major social
concerns all revolve around the future. In other words, I'm
concerned about what prevents people from rising above their
disadvantages. Specifically, I am most concerned with the
handicapped, education, and crime.
I feel society's
response to handicaps is what really hampers the potential
of the disabled. It is important for the disabled to get a
better sense of worth and to be able to adapt to, and survive
in, today's world. Through National Honor Society (NHS), I
have done just that. I have helped out at a lock-in that was
designed to foster interaction among the children of the organization,
as well as at Special Olympics, where the children participate
in sports on a competitive basis so their talents and abilities
can be recognized. Whenever the disabled can be successful
at an activity, the barrier between them and the rest of society
is drastically reduced.
Education is key
to other problems such as gangs, drugs, and crime because
it can prevent and eliminate them. I try to get students in
our school to maximize their opportunities by using the educational
resources available. By setting up a tutoring program through
NHS, I have matched up needy students with other students
who can assist them with their problems in classes. More directly,
I help students out with English and show them how to use
the Writing Center Lab, an indispensable resource for English
students at any level. The more educated a person is, I believe,
the more able he is to be successful in the future.
I have dealt with
criminal problems in my school by discussing solutions to
gangs and other crime in the Student Advisory Committee. We
have drafted several proposals to help reduce those problems
in our school.
Educating people
about such social concerns is also very crucial because they
won't fix what they don't think is broken. That is one objective
of our newspaper, in which we have written various editorials
and news stories to educate the student body on social topics.
Through debate, I myself have become knowledgeable on such
topics as the homeless, poverty, health care, and the environment.
That way I can practice what I preach.
COMMENTS:
Harvard is notorious
for its long list of essay questions, as you can see from
the seven essays this applicant had to write. The first essay
is a standard favorite book essay. His second, about his favorite
teacher, goes into more depth and reveals more about the candidate,
that he enjoys learning, admires independent thought, and
plans to study history.
The third essay
in this set stands out from the rest. Had the panel who were
grading the compositions understood the context of this essay
in light of the six others in the set, they probably would
have given it more credit. Its strength lies in its funny,
lighthearted approach-it shows a completely different aspect
of the candidate's personality. Without it, he would have
appeared deadpan serious and probably a bit dull. However,
showing the wittier side of himself strengthens the set considerably.
It is a good example of allowing yourself to take a risk in
one essay, as long as more serious approaches in the others
balance it.
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